Think back to a time where you had an epic meltdown over something “small.” Did you get caught up in the “pettiness” of the trigger that you disregarded all the things that built up to that moment? Don’t worry, a lot of us do.

Microstress can be significantly impactful because it is so subtle and below the surface. We might mistake our brief experience with microstress as a quick distraction or carry the belief that microstress is manageable. Where that may be the case in the moment, the cumulative nature of these stressors are why we need to be more aware of these tiny but mighty experiences.

Rob Cross and Karen Dillon are the co-authors of The Microstress Effect, a book highlighting the impacts of microstress and how to manage it. They believe that microstress can build into a major problem, but our ability to manage it is accessible and can be adapted quickly.

Keep reading to learn more about microstress, how we can better manage our experience of microstress, and how your planner can help reduce the impact of microstress.

The Basics of Microstress

Unlike most psychological terms, microstress explains the experience quite well: Microstressors are small moments of stress that seem manageable on their own, but the accumulation of stressors and associated ripple effects create responses that can be similar to stress. (Cross & Dillon, 2023)

The constant undercurrent of microstressors can be undetected by our nervous system and not give our bodies the chance to process the experience. This undercurrent and accumulation can lead to experiences of “brain fog,” and if we experiencing more impactful stress in the moment, our nervous systems are weaker due to the ongoing nature of microstress. In Ross and Dillion’s work, they identified 14 sources of microstress and put them into three broad categories:

• Microstresses that drain your capacity to get things done
• Microstresses that deplete emotional reserves
• Microstresses that impact your identity

I’m not exaggerating when I say that everything can be a source of microstress. Why? Because it involves using your resources, including positive things. To make sure you don’t get lost in the weeds, it might help to navigate the “louder” of microstresses while you gain a understanding of your experience.

In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, the term “vulnerability factors” is used to describe the elements that were in place before the main trigger which prompted emotion dysregulation. Think about it like this, if you have a small cold or the sniffles, then you’re exposed to someone with the flu…you’re more likely to get sick. In either context, the main issue with microstress is that we aren’t tagging it in the moment or underestimating its impacts.

How Your Planner Can Help With Microstress Awareness

Getting a Baseline of Your Bandwidth: In the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner, our Burnout Baseline worksheet is a tool that can help us better identify microstress in our daily lives. What is important to consider when taking inventory is to not minimize impacts or begin comparing to the “shoulds.” Everyone’s experience of stress is different, and we need to gain a genuine understanding to what things impact our bandwidth. Taking a broad perspective on our burnout triggers can lead to more effective problem solving.

Tracking Daily Bandwidth: Each weekly layout of the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner has a section dedicated to writing down your energy % at a given moment. The Daily Notepad asks questions like “today Im feeling” and “I need to” for in the moment tagging of your current state. Keeping your stance objective in the moment can be helpful data when identifying your more impactful stressors at that moment.

Accountability: Having ongoing accountability for self-care, self compassion and healthy habits can create a kinder perspective we can adopt on ourselves. Interventions like a weekly affirmation can help increase our awareness of kinder language that we would be more likely to use when under stress.

The Power of “Micro-Interventions”

In past blogs, we have discussed the positive impacts of taking microbreaks and finding value in incorporated self care. The term micro-interventions is not a formal term, but is explains the concept of power of tiny shifts we implement.

Let’s break down an example of a microstressor based on Ross and Dillon’s ripple effect model:

• Microstressor: Your partner was responsible for picking up the grocery order but they got held up in a meeting. They ask you to pick it up, acknowledging the potential impacts it has on you. You are annoyed but don’t say anything because “it’s not a big deal.”
  • Take Note: The requestor’s validation and acknowledgement could have been the difference between a microstressor and stressor.
• Immediate Impacts: Your plan to walk the dog is put on hold, and you now have to get out of the house. You remember that the laundry needs to be put in the dryer but you forgot after making the shift to get to the car.
• Impacts Round 2: While getting the groceries, you see the car needs gas and the gas line is long. You get home after your partner. You express frustration with your partner, and say something not awesome. Time and energy are spent repairing.
• Impacts Round 3: The dog still needs to go on a walk, and other tasks are put aside. The next morning, you can’t find your sweater because it is still in the washer.
  and so on and so on….

Where do micro-interventions come into play? Let’s break them down in each phase:

• Microstressor: When the partner made their request, you validate your annoyance in the moment. This gives you the space to ask them if they can walk the dog later tonight or to help with other tasks. They say that they will talk about it after work.
• Immediate Impacts: On the way to get groceries you choose an audiobook and have a fun soda while you drive.
• Impacts Round 2: When waiting for groceries, you vent to a friend and become aware of your breathing. When getting gas, you tense and release your muscles while at the pump.
• Impacts Round 3: You ask your partner to go on a walk together since it still needs to happen. You talk about what happened and engage in active repair. After getting home, you walk through the task list together and get the laundry done.

All of these things happened at what is called a “Choice Point,” a term from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The choice point is how we gain awareness of our options that will either help us to be more valued guided or default to old ways of coping. Taking the more values guided choices helped active problem solving and emotion regulation.

How Your Planner Can Help With In-The-Moment Microstress Management

Self Care Quick Guide and Index: The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner has a worksheet that is completed preventatively as a short guide to our most effective self care. This reduces decision fatigue and moves us towards active problem solving. The self care indexes are inspiration points when we are overwhelmed. Seeing a self care idea about making a mocktail could have inspired the fancy soda when driving to the grocery.

DBT Wise Mind and RODBT Flexible Mind Worksheets: Each worksheet guides you though emotion identification, needs identification, and possible solutions. Following the guided worksheets included in the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner help stay focused on the task at hand and promote active self care.

Daily Question Prompts: The Daily Question Prompts on the Nine to Kind Daily Notepad help with gaining awareness of our needs and what we are looking forward to. The friend you were venting to is also an opportunity to check in with them and schedule a coffee date. Having consistent reminders to find things to look forward to help us appreciate the small things along with making plans for the future.

Preventative Actions to Manage Microstress

Because microstress is inevitable, taking a proactive approach to microstress management can be implemented in everyday activites. The tasks that are associated with stress management are just as applicable to microstress management.

Quick Preventative Actions You Can Start This Week:

• Consistent Movement: Making an effort to move your body consistently can help with processing microstress. Activities that involve bilateral stimulation (walking, biking, etc) are known to help with increasing the process of stressors on a nervous system level. It doesn’t take much!
• Self Validation: By acknowledging why your mood makes sense helps reduce any shame that we might feel. Recognizing that most people would be irked about traffic helps us remain connected and offers an ease to the emotion we are feeling. Doing this in times of positive emotions and not so positive gives our brain the muscle memory to self validate when in a tough spot.
• Self Soothing: Keeping sensory based items nearby (essential oils, lotion, chewing gum, ice packs) and using them throughout the day can ease the accumulation of stressors on your body. Having soothing rituals can also be a task we look forward to each day (ex: afternoon tea).
• Connection Points: When possible, try to have connection points with others on the books. Connection with other people is a core factor in our ongoing stress management.
• Diversify Emotional Investments: Notice areas where you might be over invested, and find outlets for your energy. Your kid’s sports are feeling like too much on you? Bring a book or something to craft while you are at practice. Feel like all you do is work? Pick up a weekly class or volunteer activity.

How Your Planner Can Help with Preventative Stress Management

Time Blocking: Using the timeblocks on the daily aspect of the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner and Daily Notepad can help with carving out time for quick self care.

Habit Tracking: Have one of your self care strategies as a habit to track during the week. Even if you don’t do it as much as you want, seeing the task in the habit tracker helps increase our awareness of practicing the habit.

All The Small Things

I know I know, the emo kid had to include that phrase (shoutout Blink 182). If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, looking to manage microstressors can feel like another thing on your list. However, by embracing this approach, we have more chances of helping ourselves than waiting to cope when things are major. This week, try on the lens of microstress identification and see what changes!

If you want to learn more about microstress:

Wall Street Journal Article: Combating the Microstress that Causes Burnout

Yahoo Finance Article: Are You a High Flyer Like Rihanna? You May Have the Same Microstress…

If you’re looking for a companion to help with proactive stress management, the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner and Daily Notepad are here for you. Created by a licensed therapist, you will become more aware of your needs and experiences on a daily or weekly basis. Your routines will improve with accessible self care ideas and you will learn how to be kinder to yourself through exposure to affirmations. Learn more HERE!