We have all heard the tips and tricks to deal with procrastination…heck some of them you maybe found from Nine to Kind! Where having knowledge of practical tactics is a helpful aspect, sometimes it helps to dig into what might be driving our procrastination habit so we can shift our mindset when stuck. This article noted how desire plays a big part in procrastination. Which inspired me to consider, what mindset is truly helpful to break the cycle of procrastination?

Based on my knowledge of skills like radical acceptance and distress tolerance, I beginning to think that adopting a stance of acceptance is our best first step.

Acceptance: More than “it is what it is”

Acceptance is not resignation.

Acceptance does not take away the discomfort, pain, frustrations, or anxieties that are happening.

Acceptance is dropping the fight against whatever is happening in the moment.

Acceptance moves our energy from wishing it away or waiting for things to feel “better” into working alongside all the feels.

This might sound overly simple, but acknowledging “I don’t have the desire to do this right now” (period–that’s it) is essentially acceptance. It doesn’t include the diatribe of commentary about how you should want to do this thing or that this is just self sabotage. The why is not important when we are accepting what is happening in the moment.

Acceptance can sound like being honest with ourselves in a kind and compassionate way.

Let’s try it…yes right now

Think about a thing you have been avoiding or forgetting despite it being in your avoid avoiding section of the planner all week (or even multiple weeks).

Now, Say it with me: I do not want to do this task right now. [Period. That’s it.]

Sit with the simplicity of that statement alone, and say it one more time: I do not want to do this task right now.

The hope is that by sitting in that place of acceptance, the intensity of your emotions, self criticism, physical energy, etc will go into a more manageable place. You will likely have feelings of discomfort, the urge to move into fixing, the desire to beat yourself up, or even just shut down. Notice them and refocus to the acknowledgement of “this is how I am feeling right now.”

Acceptance gives ourselves permission to be in the emotions we tend to avoid. Acceptance brings us back to our humanness and fallibility without the pressure of fixing. Acceptance helps ground ourselves into the reality, no matter how good or bad the present moment way be.

Why is acceptance so important for perfectionists?

Us overthinkers and overdoers tend to put a lot of resources in the narrative or the spin of a situation. We will create palatable stories as our excuse to get out of plans. We will spend hours teaching ourselves to do something instead of admitting that we need help. We will become soft spoken when we are unsure, not in humility, but more to avoid the shame of getting it wrong.

Embracing an acceptance mindset moves us from overcompensating the discomfort into more helpful avenues. We don’t speed into change strategies, but acceptance sets us up to have a clearer understanding of the issue so we can better problem solve.

This week, try using acceptance in less heated situations (ex: “I’m in traffic” or “I am in a boring meeting”) to move into a more objective, present minded headspace. This practice will help slow down the internal tangents or problem solving urges and point us to finding more effective strategies for tackling the avoided task. Heck, we might even allow ourselves to let the task go altogether!

Acceptance is one of the many therapist-backed frameworks that shape the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner and the Daily Notepad. Have in the moment support with getting into the present moment with worksheets and clear objective language throughout the planner. Check out our shop HERE.