Self compassion is at the core of the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner because we know that overthinkers and overdoers can struggle with negative self talk. We can be our biggest critics and are always on the lookout for what could be better.

Self Compassion is often suggested for perfectionists and people pleasers, but the concept can feel very overwhelming. This week, we are going over what self compassion is and is not–along with our tip for an easier entry into a more compassionate mindset.

What is Self Compassion?

Coined by Dr. Kristin Neff, self compassion is essentially offering the kindness and space we offer others to actually be turned into ourself. Overthinkers and Overdoers tend to focus on the external when it comes to empathy, problem solving, and seeking safety. Self Compassion is an ongoing practice of slowing down the cycle of self criticism, increase open connection with others, and allow more margin to take in the present moment. (read more on self compassion HERE)

Now don’t mistake self compassion for passivity, letting ourselves go, or even confidence! Self Compassion is an intentional act and requires a clear understanding of what is compassion versus what is self pity.

How can I practice Self Compassion?

Self compassion can be practiced through affirmations, mindfulness exercises, day to day decision making, and more. The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner brings elements of self compassion into the weekly layouts with prompts for self kindness, weekly permission slip affirmations, and a self compassion exercise index in the back of the planner.

For today’s blog we are going to focus on affirmations, specifically neutral affirmations.

Affirmations: Helpful or a Hinderance?

The concept of affirmations is not new and have been recognized as effective in various settings. Affirmations are statements that seek out to affirm one’s present moment, capabilities, mood, and humanity.

Our exposure to affirmations have typically been in the setting of self encouragement, motivation, and challenging negative self talk. Statements like “I am a good person” or “I deserve good things” are valid and much desired! However, if we are not used to safely receiving affirmation or the statements don’t “feel real” just yet, the exercise can easily be dismissed.

Enter: Neutral Affirmations (and examples)

Neutral affirmations are statements similar to what we have known, where things shift is that we are seeking neutrality and observation of the present moment. “Being present” is not about being calm, but aware of what’s happening in the moment.

Neutral Affirmations can be an entry point for self compassion because they have the ability to diffuse tension and negative self talk without the pursuit of positivity. Neutral affirmations can be most helpful in high intensity situations or when experiencing extreme negative self talk. The key is to have “observational” and “non-judgmental” language. This keeps is a neutral as the moment can be.

Here are some examples of neutral affirmations:

• I am here.
• This is the body I have today.
• I can be in this moment.
• I can feel the ground.
• I am doing what is being asked of me in this moment.
• I am present.
• I am aware of the presence of this emotion [label emotion].
• I feel [physical sensations] in my body.
• I can learn something in this moment.

Where you can place or practice neutral affirmations:

• Write them in your planner
• Place post-its in frequently visited places (bathroom)
• Use them for your phone background
• Create a bookmark with one on it
• Write one of your fridge dry erase board or chalkboard at work

Don’t forget, self compassion of any type might take some getting used to…even it it’s most neutral form! The key is consistency (with flexibility) and allowing the discomfort to come and do.

For more self compassion tips, make sure you are on the Nine to Kind Newsletter for a weekly dose of compassion, self care inspo, and more! Sign up HERE