After the slump of winter, I always find myself feeling a little more optimistic once the weather warms up. But that optimism quickly ceases—and sometimes completely burns out—the moment I start looking at my schedule for May.

It’s like our collective restlessness wakes up and immediately fills every spare minute we might have had. That’s why “May-cember” has become such a popular term among overthinkers and overdoers. (In fact, this post was inspired by a suggestion from a Nine to Kind community member—so you’re definitely not alone in this!)

May-cember is the accumulation of good stress and bad stress all crammed into one month. With the fun of graduations, weddings, and end of season celebrations comes the overwhelm of remembering registries, honoring dress codes, finalizing travel plans, and somehow still showing up for work and life.

For perfectionists and people pleasers, this unique kind of stress hits on every level:

• Mind: Endless rumination and overthinking
  
• Body: Fatigue, tension, and the “nerves on edge” feeling all day
  
• Spirit: A solid case of the “screw-its” that can sneak up out of nowhere
  

Instead of swirling in the overwhelm, I want to equip you with 5 practical tactics you can use this season to manage the madness—and actually be present for the good moments. Grab your planner or notebook, and take what fits. Your future self will thank you.

Tactic 1: Protected Time (a.k.a. Boundaries That Stick)

What it is: Designate blocks of non-negotiable time for rest, processing, or basic life maintenance. These aren’t optional—they’re essential.

Why it helps: Without protected time, you’re just bouncing from one thing to the next with no buffer to prioritize, decompress, or breathe. These pauses are what allow us to be more present and less reactive—especially in a month like May.

Boundaries Through the KIND Approach

Let’s layer in the KIND framework to support your actual follow-through with boundaries—because we all know that’s the hardest part.

K – Know Yourself

Not all boundaries have to be big and dramatic. Get honest about what level of protected time you can commit to.

• Can you reliably hold 5 minutes of quiet between meetings?
  
• Do you feel good about blocking off a full evening or weekend day?
  

Start with what’s doable—and honor that.

I – Invite Ease

If you’re not used to holding boundaries, your body may freak out a little the first few times you try.

• Watch for signs of bracing or overexplaining
  
• Notice if you’re minimizing your need for the boundary
  
• Focus on the felt sense of relief you’re creating, not the guilt you’re releasing
  

Boundaries get easier the more you practice them—especially when you pair them with nervous system regulation.

N – Name It

Identify what supports you need to maintain this time.

• Do you need a boundary buddy to help hold the line?
  
• An alarm or calendar block to remind you it’s coming?
  
• A script for saying “I’m unavailable during that time”?
  

Brainstorm the support before you need it. Boundaries hold better with backup.

D – Design Your Life

Make your blocked time extra.

• Light a candle
  
• Put on a playlist
  
• Add a snack, a cozy outfit, or a “do not disturb” sign
  

The more enjoyable you make your boundary time, the more likely you are to keep it.

Give yourself permission to: Have empty space on the calendar—and keep it that way. This isn’t laziness. It’s strategy.

Tactic 2: Rank Events and Obligations

What it is: Not all obligations are created equal. This tactic is about ranking what truly matters—and getting clear on what you’re doing out of genuine care vs. guilt, habit, or pressure.

Why it helps: You can’t give everything 100%. By naming what’s most meaningful, you can protect your energy and show up more fully in the places that actually deserve it.

Ranking with the KIND Approach

K – Know Yourself (and the Situation)

There will be events where overextending is unavoidable. That’s real life. But those moments shouldn’t be your default. Give yourself honest context before committing.

Ask:

• What are the events most likely to pour back into me?
  
• What events are most likely to drain me—and is that drain worth it?
  
• What do I need this month to feel balanced?
  

Use your answers to build an objective (but compassionate) filter. You don’t need to say yes to everything to prove you’re thoughtful.

I – Invite Ease

Let’s be honest: not going to something can make others feel some type of way. That doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.

Here’s what helps:

• If someone is upset but doesn’t share it, you’re not responsible for decoding it.
  
• If someone does share their disappointment respectfully, hold space without abandoning yourself.
  
• You can repair—if it’s needed.
  
• You don’t need to sacrifice your well-being to avoid a moment of discomfort.
  

Also: check the voice inside that’s pushing you to “do more.” That’s not your intuition—it’s your inner critic.

N – Name It

Name the why behind your decision—to yourself. You may never need to explain it to others, but this internal clarity helps you stay grounded when guilt creeps in.

• “No” is a full justification.
  
• If you do explain, let it come from your values—not from overexplaining.
  
• If something feels like a cover up, pause. That might be a sign you’re overriding your needs to stay comfortable.

You won’t always need a full list of rationales—but writing them out can help retrain your nervous system to tolerate doing things differently.

D – Design Your Life

Go ahead—rank the events. Literally.

• Make a short list.
  
• Assign each one a category: “Must,” “Maybe,” or “Pass.”
  
• Note your honest pros and cons (without judgment).
  
• Let your body weigh in—how does it feel to imagine saying yes to each one?
  

You can approach this with kindness and objectivity.

Give yourself permission to:  Have honest feelings about what’s on your calendar this month—and let those feelings matter.

Tactic 3: Have a Celebration Stash (Cards, Gifts, Gift Bags)

What it is: A tiny (but mighty) hack to reduce the mental load of last-minute gifting, scrambling for that one missing card, or feeling frazzled when celebrations pop up unexpectedly.

How to do it: Create a simple storage box—bonus points if you keep one at home and one in the car—with:

• Gift cards (local coffee shops, bookstores, online options)
  
• Universally loved gifts (journals, books, nice lotion, scrunchies, candles) **be mindful of temperature sensitive items
  
• Neutral gift bags and cards
  

Why it helps: Having a few celebration essentials ready gives future you some breathing room—and prevents the panic spiral over small (but meaningful) details.

Building Your Stash with the KIND Approach

K – Know Yourself

Notice any “shoulds” that pop up when you set up this system.

• You don’t have to create a Pinterest-worthy gifting station.
  
• You’re allowed to create supports that make busy seasons lighter, not heavier.
  

This isn’t about doing it “perfectly”, it’s about making life easier for yourself.

I – Invite Ease

Work within what you actually have:

• Your budget
  
• Your storage space
  
• Your energy

This system should feel supportive, not stressful. If it doesn’t make sense for your current season, adapt it, or skip it.

N – Name It

Make a running list of upcoming events and likely “gift moments.”

• Graduations
  
• End-of-year teacher gifts
  
• Baby showers, birthdays, weddings
  
• Appreciation gifts for coworkers or community helpers
  

Having the list accessible keeps you from feeling surprised (and not ina good way) later.

D – Design Your Life

Get creative!

• Create a “signature gift” that feels personal and easy to repeat.
  
• Stock gift cards from places that align with your values (local shops, woman-owned businesses, ethical brands).
  
• Choose wrapping supplies that feel fun for you.
  

The more aligned this feels, the more likely you’ll actually use your stash.

Give yourself permission to: Automate or simplify gifting—without guilt. A little reframe too: you’re being thoughtful in advance. 

Tactic 4: Defer What You Can to Another Month

What it is: You don’t have to do everything right now. Some tasks can (and should) wait—especially in a season like May. This is not the time to start reorganizing the pantry, launching a new side hustle, or taking on extra projects unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Why it helps: Deferring protects your energy, your time, and your nervous system. It stops you from overcommitting when your emotional and physical bandwidth is already stretched thin.

Deferring with the KIND Approach

K – Know Yourself

We often make plans in extremes:

• Either imagining we’ll be at peak productivity
  
• Or bracing for total collapse

Neither extreme is super realistic. Sometimes you’ll have more energy than expected; sometimes, much less.

Reflect:

• When you’re overwhelmed, do you tend to overextend (take on more) or undercommit (shut down)?
  
• Know your default pattern—and build your plans with that self-awareness.
  

I – Invite Ease

Once you start honoring your limits, it’s so common for a little internal gaslighting to creep in:

• “Am I being lazy?”
  
• “Do I really need to defer this?”
  
• “I could squeeze it in if I just tried harder…”
  

Pause. Remind yourself: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Compassion—not pressure—is your guide this month.

N – Name It

Scaling is your friend here. Using the Bandwidth Burnout Worksheet inside the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner (or your own list), write out:

• What tasks are essential at low, medium, and high energy levels
  
• Which projects are 100% safe to defer—and what your guardrails around them are
  

If you happen to have an unexpected energy boost, great—you can reassess. And if not? That’s fine, too. Rest isn’t wasted time.

D – Design Your Life

Execute with kindness. As the month moves forward:

• Check in with your bandwidth, not just your to do list
  
• Notice unexpected gaps or slow days—and consider using them for rest and leisure, not catch-up
  

You’re not just designing your time—you’re designing your experience of this season.

Give yourself permission to: Honor your willingness just as much as your capability.

Tactic 5: Build in Accommodations (Yes, You Can Do That)

What it is: Adjusting expectations, timelines, or logistics before you burn out. This might look like taking shortcuts, asking for help, scaling back your participation—or all of the above.

Why it helps: Accommodations don’t make you weak. They make you wise about your energy—and they help you build a sustainable, human-paced month, not a burnout-fueled one.

Accommodation Planning with the KIND Approach

K – Know Yourself

This is the moment to brainstorm without editing or judgment. Listen for those small thoughts you usually brush aside:

• “If only they would [help with ___]…”
  
• “If I had [this support], this would be so much easier…”

Those aren’t weaknesses—they’re clues to what could make this month doable.

I – Invite Ease

Start noticing your compensatory strategies—aka how you tend to overcompensate for anxiety, overwhelm, depression, etc.

Use them as early intervention points.

• If your tension is at 40–50%, start self-soothing.
  
• Don’t wait until you’re at 99% capacity before you adjust course.
  

Proactive > reactive. Every time.

N – Name It

Use objective, non-judgmental language to name what accommodations you need this month.

Ask yourself:

• What are my biggest stress points or triggers?
  
• When am I most vulnerable to overwhelm?
  
• What specific supports would help me navigate those days better?
  

Put it all down in writing. Naming the needs makes them real and actionable.

D – Design Your Life

Schedule your accommodations—and put reminders wherever you’ll see them.

Remember:

An accommodation you forget to use is just a good idea—not a lived support.

Reduce the shame that sometimes keeps us from leaning on the supports we set up.

Examples of Accommodations:

• Using a laundry service or grocery delivery
  
• Asking a friend or family member for a kid pick-up or drop-off swap
  
• Saying “I’ll get back to you tomorrow” instead of committing in the moment
  
• Getting your inner circle aligned around realistic expectations for the month
  
• Prioritizing a consistent, earlier bedtime (yes, even when the to-do list isn’t done)
  
• Keeping water, snacks, and low-lift supports easily accessible
  

Give yourself permission to: Take your needs seriously—and treat them like they matter.

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Right to Rest

The biggest trap of May-cember is thinking that if you just push through, you’ll finally feel peace at the end. But that peace rarely comes when we’ve depleted ourselves along the way. Your nervous system doesn’t know what month it is—it only knows how supported you are.

These five tactics aren’t about “opting out”—they’re about opting into a version of your month that includes you, too.

Need a place to track your energy, adjust your expectations, and block protected time? The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner was literally designed for this. Check it out in the shop—it’s a tool for surviving the chaos without losing yourself.