You’ve been told that being productive is the key to success—but what if that’s not the whole truth? From a young age, we’ve been conditioned to celebrate productivity (remember those perfect attendance awards?). This constant stream of hustle culture-coated messages has shaped an unhelpful mindset we now call productivity guilt.

Ever find yourself spiraling into self-criticism the moment you finally sit down to watch Netflix? It’s as if even self-care feels undeserved when you get to it. As a therapist, I’ve heard countless overdoers say, “I should be doing more.” But here’s the thing: most of us don’t even have a clear definition of what “productive” means—and if we do, it’s likely unattainable.

Even if you’ve spent your whole life meeting unrelenting standards, your body and mind are likely begging you to slow down. If you’ve ever felt guilty for listening to that inner voice, this blog will help you shift your perspective.

Myth #1: There’s a Universal Standard for Productivity

Truth: There is no one-size-fits-all measure for productivity.

For my overthinkers and overdoers, this might be a tough pill to swallow. Many of us find comfort and validation in specific, measurable markers of success—they make us feel safe and “enough.” This focus on standardized benchmarks starts early, from school testing to perfect attendance awards to rigid syllabi. We were taught how to take the test, but rarely how to apply the knowledge. Now, as adults (especially millennials, Gen-Xers, and boomers), we’re learning to incorporate context—a skill that takes energy we might feel we don’t have.

But here’s the upside: when we let go of “standardized” measures of success, we gain the opportunity to tune into ourselves. (If that idea feels both exciting and terrifying, you’re not alone.) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy highlights the power of identifying personal values and aligning our behaviors with them. For instance, someone who values financial security might prioritize budgeting, working longer hours, or learning new skills. Another person with a value of exploration might choose a flexible, lower-paying job that allows for more travel. The key is this: you get to be in the driver’s seat.

Now, what if your value is productivity? I’d suggest reframing it as “efficiency.” Efficiency as a value encourages creative problem-solving, embracing mistakes, and simplifying tasks. On the other hand, perfectionism and efficiency rarely go hand in hand. By releasing the idea that the world measures us all by a single yardstick, we find freedom to redefine both productivity and success in ways that actually work for us.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner is designed to adapt to your unique values, whatever they may be. Its undated, open-ended layouts allow for flexibility, while worksheets like the Burnout Baseline help you outline what productivity looks like at different energy levels. This way, you can align your planning with your values, not an arbitrary standard.

Myth #2: Happy People Are More Productive…Leading to Even More Happiness!

Truth: Happiness is just one emotion in a dynamic collection, all of which are essential for emotional well-being.

In the therapy world, Positive Psychology has gained traction for its focus on client well-being rather than pathology. Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology, introduced the PERMA model as a framework for measuring well-being.

The PERMA Model Includes:

• Positive Emotion
• Engagement
• Positive Relationships
• Meaning
• Accomplishment/Achievement

At first glance, it may seem like accomplishment leads to happiness—and, in the short term, it often does. We’re wired to crave recognition for our efforts, and achieving something can provide a sense of connection (being seen), mastery (learning something new), and completion. However, these feelings are temporary. They fade as soon as we encounter a contradicting experience or stimulus.

This is why happiness can’t be the goal—it’s a fleeting state of being, not a permanent condition. What can be a goal is engagement in the present moment. Engagement allows us to fully experience the range of emotions, including the “negative” ones. These emotions are vital for keeping us safe, understanding our values, and developing character. Research shows that resilience and grit are built not in the absence of challenges, but through navigating them.

Suppressing or ignoring negative emotions can cause our nervous system to disengage altogether, leading to emotional numbness. Feeling the full spectrum of emotions keeps our nervous system active, engaged, and balanced.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner supports this well rounded approach to well-being. Its emotion identification worksheets and self-care inventories help you embrace all emotions and cultivate emotional resilience.

Myth #3: If You Aren’t Productive, You’re Lazy or Failing

Truth: Productivity guilt stems from the unhealthy belief that your worth is tied to your output.

It’s true that output is measurable—it shows how much was produced. But the meaning we attach to that output is where productivity guilt takes root. Hustle culture has ingrained in us the idea that the “good things” in life come only from hard work and sacrifice. What it conveniently ignores is that effort doesn’t always guarantee the outcome we want. Many people work tirelessly without being rewarded.

Hustle culture also forgets one key truth: we don’t need to be good at everything. In fact, focusing solely on working harder often pulls us away from our unique strengths and natural talents.

What if slowing down and refocusing brought more meaningful rewards? What if stepping back actually allowed us to be more productive in a less stressed-out way? Does that make us less deserving of good things? Absolutely not.

Here’s the thing: laziness is less about capability and more about willingness. It’s not inherently bad—it’s often a response to something deeper.

Laziness could signal:

• Anxiety
• Low bandwidth or energy
• Disgust or dissatisfaction
• A need to honor our limits
• A way of protecting ourselves

When we reframe laziness as a signal rather than a failure, we can better understand what’s driving our behavior. Yes, there will be times when pushing ourselves is necessary—but pushing isn’t always the answer. Productivity cannot, and should not, define our worthiness.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner and Notepad are designed to remind you of your inherent worth, regardless of your output. With affirmations and self-compassion prompts, they help you embrace a kinder, more sustainable approach to productivity and self-care.

The Productivity Guilt Spiral

Conversations about shame and guilt are becoming more mainstream, but that doesn’t make these emotional experiences any less intense. Did you know that humans are hard-wired to avoid shame at all costs? Historically, shaming rituals were used to enforce compliance, suppressing individuals and leaving them feeling stuck.

Productivity guilt creates a similar kind of stuckness. It can manifest as rumination, overproduction, resentment, isolation, and more. When we’re caught in the depths of productivity guilt, we lose sight of our past efforts, accomplishments, and connections. Instead, we engage in a personal shaming ritual, pressuring ourselves to meet an impossible standard of perfection or productivity.

Operating from a place of shame disconnects us from our values and often leaves us feeling discontent. Ironically, it can feel “safe” because we’re staying compliant with those rigid, all-or-nothing expectations. But that safety is an illusion—it keeps us in a cycle of self-criticism and burnout.

Shifting to a values-guided and more compassionate approach might feel vulnerable at first, but it opens the door to a more fulfilling, balanced life—the life you truly crave.

The Big Shift

Shifting from a productivity-first mindset to a values-guided approach takes effort and intentionality. It’s not a one-time fix but a practice—a way to build self-trust, reduce burnout, improve decision-making, and ultimately increase your overall well-being. This isn’t about creating a mistake-free, perfect life; it’s about crafting a framework that brings you back to what matters and helps you embrace life’s nuance.

Here’s how you can make the big shift:

1. Redefine Productivity in Your Own Terms
   Use objective, measurable standards that feel realistic and attainable.
   • Examples: Spend 30 minutes every other day on a neglected task. Commit to doing one small thing daily toward a long-term goal.
     
2. Shift Success from a Must to an Aspiration
   Reframe success as something you aim for, not a requirement.
   • Examples: “I aspire to increase Q3 sales compared to last year.” “I aspire to try one new social activity each month.”
     
3. Adopt a Curious, Compassionate Mindset
   View outcomes as information rather than a judgment of your worth.
   • Examples: When a goal isn’t met, objectively consider what got in the way—external factors, timing, or resources. Approach setbacks with curiosity rather than self-criticism.
     
4. Be Honest with Yourself in the Moment
   Acknowledge your feelings without attaching unnecessary meaning to them.
   • Example: “I don’t want to apply for jobs today.” Full stop. No need for explanations or self-judgment.
     
5. Recognize Efforts and Connect Them to Values
   Take time to reflect on how your actions align with your values.
   • Example: Ask, “What did I do today that reflected my values?” Unsure? Look back at your day and brainstorm the values tied to your actions.
     
6. Acknowledge That Tasks Will Get Done—Just Not Always on Your Timeline
   Give yourself permission to feel frustrated when delays happen, but don’t let that frustration spiral into self-blame.

Incorporate This Into Your Routine

Keep these strategies in mind as you schedule your week or reflect on your day. Over time, they’ll help you let go of productivity guilt and replace it with a more sustainable, values-driven mindset.

Find What Matters

When we were young, freedom was everything. Staying up all night, cupcakes for dinner—it was all about making choices that felt good in the moment. But somewhere along the way, our need for certainty took over, and perfectionism quietly started making the decisions for us.

Now, it’s time to take back the reins. Redefining productivity and letting go of productivity guilt isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a revolutionary act. By stepping into the role of decision-maker again, you can focus on what truly matters and create a life that feels aligned and meaningful.

This week, don’t be afraid to call productivity guilt out and experiment with a values guided framework.