It’s usually around mid-January when life starts to chip away at those shiny new goals and resolutions. Maybe you caught a cold that kept you out of the gym, or you felt overwhelmed and went for takeout instead of cooking. Suddenly, the frustration creeps in. “How did I fall off track this early?” It’s not uncommon for this time of year to feel heavy with shame and self-doubt.

Here’s the thing: perfectionism LOVES big goals. That unhelpful perfectionism and those ambitious, all-or-nothing plans? They’re like the toxic relationship you couldn’t quite escape in your early 20s—full of excitement, yes, but absolutely draining. Tiny Wins, on the other hand, are the kind of relationship that change your life for the better. They make life feel doable. Suddenly, “boring” feels like peace, and you realize you don’t have to try so damn hard.

So, let’s dive into how we can cultivate a healthier relationship with our perfectionism through tiny goals. By the end of this, you’ll have a more compassionate mindset, a fresh way to organize your tasks, and maybe even a renewed energy to revisit those resolutions you thought were long gone. Heck, you might even decide some of those goals belonged with that toxic ex anyway.

What are Tiny Wins?

Tiny Wins are the incremental steps of change that come with a sense of completion. Unlike “markers” of progress, which track ongoing action, a Tiny Win has a distinct pause or stopping point where you can celebrate and regroup.

During the pandemic, I decided to completely overhaul our bedroom, which somehow turned into repainting the entire bedroom and bathroom. Looking back, this ambitious project was probably my way of channeling accumulated stress into action—but that’s a story for another time. Along the way, I discovered the difference between progress markers and Tiny Wins. The ongoing action steps—like taping edges or painting a wall—were markers of progress. The Tiny Wins, however, were the moments of completion: narrowing down colors (because decision fatigue is no joke), gathering the right equipment, finishing sections of the room, and resetting the space after each step.

Tiny Wins help us build momentum, find value in our efforts, and see the bigger picture through smaller building blocks. They remind us that every small completion has significance, making the process more intentional. Tiny Wins also create natural stopping points, which are invaluable when life gets in the way or when you simply need a breather. Sure, projects might take a little longer, but there’s far more grace—and far less burnout—along the way.

The Struggle with Overthinking and Overdoing

When reevaluating our habits, it’s less about labeling them as “good” or “bad” and more about understanding their investment versus return. For habits like overthinking and overdoing, the challenge lies in something deeper: intermittent reinforcement.

Intermittent reinforcement is the same concept that keeps us glued to slot machines in a casino. You feed in ten quarters, win a dollar, and then feed that dollar back into the machine, hoping for the jackpot. It rarely works out, yet the possibility of a reward keeps you coming back for more.

When we apply this idea to overthinking and overdoing, it’s easy to see why these draining habits are so hard to break. Overthinking feels productive because it gives us the illusion of “pursuing” an answer or solution. This false sense of productivity activates our reward system, trapping us in a cycle of mental hamster wheels. Overdoing, on the other hand, often yields tangible reinforcers like promotions, praise, or a fleeting sense of accomplishment—all of which make it difficult to step back.

By acknowledging what keeps our habits running on autopilot, we take the first step toward replacing compulsive striving with intentional action. The Tiny Wins approach interrupts the cycle, giving us permission to celebrate the process instead of just the outcome.

Why Tiny Wins Are Transformational

Taking a Tiny Wins approach can be transformational because it shifts our focus from chasing outcomes to embracing the process. Tiny Wins provide immediate recognition of our efforts, offering small, satisfying rewards along the way. By celebrating incremental progress, we release the pressure of “all-or-nothing” thinking, which is especially helpful for recovering from perfectionism and burnout. It’s amazing how much we can accomplish when we work at a pace that’s sustainable and reasonable.

When I was building Nine to Kind, my business coach emphasized the importance of Tiny Wins constantly. At first, I didn’t quite understand the power of celebrating these small moments, but over time, I realized how they kept me motivated. Recognizing even the glimmers of progress helped me honor the effort it takes to grow a business. For example, producing this blog requires a lot of mental energy. If I didn’t celebrate the small win of writing and sharing consistently, it would be easy to lose steam.

Sharing Tiny Wins also has an unexpected bonus: it builds connection. When we share our small victories, others recognize and celebrate with us, leading to a sense of being seen and understood. Celebrating Tiny Wins is like building muscle memory for contentment, values, and genuine interest in what we do. Over time, we become our own hype squad, capable of maintaining momentum even during the most challenging moments.

Therapy-Based Tools to Pair With Tiny Wins

Now that we’ve explored the how and why of Tiny Wins, let’s dive into the what—the tangible ways to practice them. It’s important to remember that this is a practice, and like any new skill, it might feel clunky or unnatural at first. Think of it as a numbers game: the more reps you put in, the more natural it will feel.

Rooted in evidence-based therapy models, here are a few powerful tools to complement your Tiny Wins practice:

1. ACT Values

Identifying the values behind your Tiny Wins helps anchor them to your “why.” Each time you document or celebrate a Tiny Win, connect it to a specific value it supports. For example, if you completed a small step toward a creative project, you might tie it to the value of personal growth or self-expression. This exercise not only reinforces your progress but also keeps you aligned with what truly matters throughout the year.

2. Scaling with the Burnout Baseline

The Nine to Kind Burnout Baseline Worksheet is a great way to acknowledge what’s possible, even on days when you’re not feeling 100%. The goal here isn’t to push yourself—it’s about operating comfortably within your mid-range energy levels.

How to Start:

• Track your energy levels in the morning and evening using a scale of 0-10 or 0-100.
• Stay objective and approach the exercise with curiosity, not judgment.
• Use this information to set realistic expectations for your Tiny Wins.

Scaling provides multiple reference points for your efforts, adding context and flexibility to your Tiny Wins practice.

3. DBT Wise Mind

Wise Mind, a core Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skill, combines rational mind (facts and data) with emotion mind (interpretations and feelings) to arrive at a balanced decision. Wise Mind is particularly helpful in celebrating Tiny Wins because it focuses on the process, not just the outcome.

For example:

• Asking for time off from your boss is a Tiny Win, regardless of whether the request is approved.
• The act of advocating for yourself is the success, even if the result doesn’t go your way.

By honoring decisions and actions as Tiny Wins, you can shift your focus from results to self-compassion.

4. Not Boring Self Care

Incorporating self-care into your Tiny Wins celebrations amplifies their impact. This aligns with the behavioral activation model, where “doing” creates a more experiential and potent reward.

Ideas for Not Boring Self Care include:

• A fancy latte or face mask after completing a tough task.
• Watching your favorite show guilt-free after finishing a milestone.
• A small splurge to celebrate an achievement, like a new book or cozy blanket.

Self-care tied to Tiny Wins reinforces the reward loop, making it easier to stay motivated.

5. Writing It Down

Documenting your Tiny Wins is powerful for memory, reflection, and momentum. The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner offers sections like the “top 3 priorities” or notes pages, perfect for tracking wins.

Creative Ideas for Tracking Tiny Wins:

• Use colorful sticky notes, write down each Tiny Win, and store them in a jar. At the end of the year, pour them out and relive your progress.
• Dedicate a section in your weekly planner to jot down daily Tiny Wins.
• Create a Tiny Wins collage or board to visually remind yourself of your efforts.

A Flexible Approach

All of these tools are adaptable to your preferences and how you process information. Don’t worry about getting it “perfect.” Start with the easiest entry point, experiment, and let the practice evolve over time. By pairing Tiny Wins with these therapy-based tools, you can build a practice that’s both transformative and sustainable.

A Call to Action: Celebrate a Tiny Win This Week

As a therapist, celebrating Tiny Wins is a common practice in sessions, but I know it’s not always carried into everyday life. Why? Because many of our Tiny Wins might feel like things we “should” be doing, or they seem insignificant compared to the bigger picture. Sometimes, they even feel like distractions from a larger task. Add to that the extra energy required to embrace the Tiny Wins mindset, and it’s easy to see why this habit can feel out of reach.

Here’s your first prompt to get started:

At the start of your week, look back at last week’s tasks and star the Tiny Wins.

That’s it. You can also try this exercise daily with your to-do list. The goal is to pause, reflect, and acknowledge what you’ve accomplished before rushing into the next task.

This simple practice can help break the shame spirals that often creep in when we feel like we’re not doing “enough.” Don’t let motivational Instagram feeds or endless self-help books fool you—you’re doing more than you realize. Your “good enough” is already pretty amazing.

You deserve to be celebrated often and to work at a pace rooted in kindness and compassion.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner is here to be your compassionate companion. Track your goals (and your Tiny Wins) each week with ease and grace. Click HERE to shop and make this practice part of your daily life.