While we might be thankful for cooler temps, scarf season, pumpkin spice and all the other Fall things, the season brings on a LOT of change! Add in early prep for the holiday season, and your plate is instantly full. With all the things happening, there are 7 burnout traps that we commonly fall into. To help with coping ahead, we got you a quick guide with the traps and how to prepare.

7 Fall Burnout Traps

1. Anticipatory Anxiety (Anticipatory Grief-Anxiety About Change)

A common grievance I hear about is the constant need to adapt to change. As soon as one routine or habit is established, a new factor comes in! Due to the ongoing nature of life, when change is brewing…our nervous system can speed into unhelpful panic. Some of us cope with this through avoidance or being frozen, others feverishly dive into finding any sense of control that is out there–cleaning baseboards anyone?

Mental Prepping for Feeling Grief/Anxiety in Response to Change

Grief can be considered as an acknowledgement of change. Grief and change can be good buddies because allowing ourselves to feel grief can actually validate our stress but in a way that is movement oriented. We might get used to change, but in a world where change is constant (and faster) our feelings need space to exist. It’s important to note that this is first because we must acknowledge what is happening (in its most authentic form) before we can find change strategies that truly match our needs.

This mindset shift is one that I’ve seen be a game changer for overthinkers and overdoers in my office. Start acknowledging your negative as emotions that need to be tended to. This means that instead of getting swept up in “why am I so overwhelmed” or “this happens every year…why am I not used to it” you acknowledge you make space to be with your feelings.

Tangible Prepping for Feeling Grief/Anxiety with Change

Putting these mindset shifts into tangible action looks like increasing personable supports like check-ins with loved ones, and accommodations like grocery delivery. Look ahead in your schedule to see where you can fit in some time to do nothing, or a night where you can get to bed early and process your feelings. Vent your grievances by venting or writing them out! Pairing this with self compassion is also another way to qualm the inner critic while processing your frustration with change. The less you battle your emotions, the more likely they are to be processed.

In your planner, include affirmations centered around grief and validation of emotions. Make sure you write down things you have to look forward to, track your mood, and include habits that are comforting for you.

2. Seasonal Changes that Impact Health

It seems like allergies are year round, but we all know the seasonal changes can do a number on our physical health. This can be a response to change in the weather, increased exposure to other people, flu season, and other factors. With your communities adjusting all at the same time, this can increase demand in doctor’s offices and pharmacies. If you’re already living a packed life…the last thing you need is a cold (or worse) dragging you down.

Mental Prepping for Health Issues

I’m not going to claim this as a common thing for those that are perfectionistic, but in my office I have seen people go into a shame-spiral of sadness (“I should have taken better care of myself”) or an anger-driven shame spiral (“I’m a piece of crap and now this…”) when they get sick. We need to remember that there is no morality when it comes to illness–we are human beings that have to work through these things.

You have every right to be frustrated when sickness happens (especially if you are someone with chronic illness) but the last thing you need to is be mean to yourself. If there were measures you needed to take on, then note it as a lesson or a reminder to be more mindful of your health. Taking a stance of objectivity (meaning without interpretation) is another way we can decrease the emotions that come up while sick. Also keep in mind that everyone’s normal is related to the context of their life experiences.

Tangibly Prepping for Health Issues

Take a moment to review the following things: your insurance deductible, your HSA, your medicine cabinet, and cleaning supply closet. If your insurance deductible is met or close to being met, that means seeing a specialist or getting a procedure done will be more cost effective. Your HSA can cover things like doctor’s appointments, medications, therapy sessions, and any additional health related things. Before shopping, check your cleaning supplies and medications to see what you need to stock up! If you are on consistent medications, check your refills and review any delivery options.

3. Discussions About Holiday Plans

Look, I know the cooler breeze just arrived but you know that the holidays will be here before you know it. As if we didn’t have enough on our plates, we now have to discuss travel plans, gift lists, and more. Even if you love the holiday season, the logistical and emotional aspects of the season can impact us. Starting the mental prep early is a great way to reduce vulnerability factors that would contribute to a meltdown. *we have all been there I promise

Mental Prepping for Holiday Discussions

The main focuses for mental preparation for the holidays is brainstorming, self validation, and expectation identification. Whether it is stress or excitement, our expectations can go a little awry if they aren’t defined or kept in check. We can start anticipating the worst or blissfully ignoring what could be ahead of us.

Preparing mentally for the holidays can feel like part hug-part pep talk. Allow all your emotions to come up and welcome them as information. Be mindful of the secondary judgment you might give yourself if you experience negative feelings. The pep talk comes in when we remember that we have tools and tactics to navigate the holidays as best as we can. We can validate whatever approach we need to take, whether that is a harm reduction model or a cycle breaking model.

Tangible Prepping for Holidays

I want you to start defining your wants, needs and expectations of the holiday season. Start by writing out an unedited brainstorm of what you want or your concerns about the holidays. Allow yourself to be as “unreasonable” as possible to get a sense of what you actually want. From there, write down your top 3-5 barriers to having what you want/need, followed by specific accommodations or supports you would want to work through the barriers.

Once you have this written out, process your feelings with a friend, therapist or family member. You can collaborate with them to clarify priorities, determine a loose timeline for conversations/decisions, and delegate support. How you cope will shift and change as you get more information. For now, focus on getting a clear idea of your perspective and write it down to revisit in the later months.

4. Decreased or Inconsistent Physical Activity

Physical activity tends to decrease as the months cool off and our schedules heat up. We all know the benefits of movement, but maintaining the motivation can be difficult. Add in the physical health changes (colds, etc) and the barriers towards movement build. When we are overwhelmed, the basics like sleep and movement quickly go on the back burner. If we are busy, these are things that need to be more accessible for our well-being!

Mental Prepping for Decreased Physical Activity

Just like the holidays, we need to focus on managing expectations and clarifying priorities. There might be an element of grief involved too if we have to make significant changes or sacrifices to our movement routines. To navigate the shifts and changes, we need to identify our ideal movement routine and our “good enough” movement routine.

If we are feeling like control is difficult to maintain, our perfectionism can go into overdrive. Having a range of movement options allows for us to find value in all types of movement, not just our 100%. Become more mindful and aware of “catch phrases” we experience when getting rigid about our routines. Holding space for radical acceptance can also help ward those critical catch phrases.

Tangible Prepping for Decreased Physical Activity

Create a list of movement activities that you can incorporate into your day, and be specific about the time you want to dedicate to the activity. Categorize the activities by preference for easy reference. If you have this in a phone note or spreadsheet, include any links to videos or schedules. Research and price out flexible exercise programs like ClassPass or an online only platform. There are also no cost options like Yoga with Adriene or The Fitness Marshall.

Review your schedules and brainstorm “opportunities” for movement. Can you go on a walk while a virtual meeting is in progress? Can you fit in a 15 minute stretching routine while waiting on traffic to die down? Seek out anything that can also be community based, like walking for school drop off or a post dinner wind down. Whatever you incorporate, recognize that your efforts matter.

5. Increased Demand in Schedule/Workload

Everything discussed up to this point is a by-product of the demands that increase in the Fall. The longer days and flexible attitude around summer leave more margin for adjustment. That margin quickly decreases, and all the sudden we can have something scheduled every day. In addition, the decrease of vacations prompt organizations to refocus back to meeting goals. You aren’t imagining things I promise, the quick shift is something we all experience.

Mental Prepping for Increased Demands

Preparing mentally for the increase of demands in the fall can be difficult because some of the demands are unavoidable. We might be in a work situation that is not the most supportive or navigating relationships (like coparenting) that have a low likelihood of change. This is where the concept of acceptance comes in.

Taking a stance of acceptance focuses on recognizing that some of the rigid beliefs we work so hard to uphold cannot apply in all contexts all the time. The metaphor of juggling glass balls and plastic balls simultaneously applies to the mindset that helps to embody in those moments. If we are juggling both, allowing ourselves to drop the plastic balls (that will be picked back up) helps us put energy to what we consider “glass.” Also giving ourselves permission to delegate will help get our head above water. We can’t be all things, to all people (including ourselves), all the time. Accepting this as our truth in the moment moves us towards more effective coping. If this is something you would tell someone else to believe, we must practice that too.

Tangible Prepping for Increased Demands

Write down the tasks that need to be completed on a daily, weekly, and/or monthly basis. Take the tasks and assign “shifts” or days of the week/month to have the tasks completed. This is taking a “brick by brick” approach to the demands. From there, consider what can be delegated to others and your limits for accountability. The idea would be to minimize long stretches of doing work, and learning how to do a bit at a time (builds executive functioning and reduces overwhelm).

Try incorporating these into your weekly schedules: time for backlogged tasks, check in meetings with those handling delegated tasks, and incorporated self care time (small breaks/microbreaks).

As always, check in with yourself and make sure you aren’t adding tasks in response to feeling overwhelm. This might sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes we actually add on to overcompensate for stress. Many of us have a built up tolerance for stress, and the doing can make us feel like we are being productive. We can begin ease into our lives during stressful seasons.

6. Financial Demands

From Fall weddings to homecoming reunions to back to school fundraisers (don’t forget the holidays down the road) our wallet begins to take a hit during this season. Where there are the heave hitters, there are also the microcosts (increases of fees, small donations, etc) that can creep up on us. Finances are already a major stressor, and as the year winds down it is only amplified.

Mental Prepping for Financial Demands

With a compassionate approach, focus on identifying your main drivers of overspending money, overdonating to causes, mindless spending or stress purchasing. Break these factors down by possible functions of the behavior, potential payoffs, and what feelings you might be trying to avoid. Having this holistic understanding of the situation can point you to better coping habits.

Using that acceptance word again, there is a part of us that could benefit from acceptance the realities of the season when it comes to spending. Instead of focusing on “not” spending, focus on ways to reduce the amount spent and increasing intentionality instead. This is how we gauge better markers of personal success and reduce shame or overthinking when we are having to spend.

Tangible Prepping for Financial Demands

Review last years statements for the following: renewals, major expenses, and the amount of purchases. When reviewing the purchases, write down any notes for you to keep in mind when planning ahead.

Check for any renewals that might be upcoming. Check to see if you want to keep or downgrade the service.

Write down recurring events (holidays, etc) where money was spent and brainstorm an ideal budget for each event.

Identify specific spending limits. For example, a wedding gift budget per event, donation limits, etc.

Make sure you have a weekly amount that can be “guilt free blow money.” This is a weekly amount that can be for non-necessity expenses like Door Dash or a latte. This can be a practice you have year round!

When it comes to expectation management, you might try having conversations with others about your spending limits this season. Suggest low-cost gifting ideas like a book exchange, or ask to do a pot luck instead of a dinner out. This can be tough, and you will more than likely have someone else feeling the same way (and glad you brought the suggestions up).

7. Less Quality Time with Friends/Loved Ones

As we all adjust to the the increase of demands, new schedules, and changes we will lose time with those we like to see! A lot of times this is not intentional, but we tend to drop off in our group chats because there is so much happening. Let’s also keep in mind that with the increase of demands, there is an increase for recovery time. We all need connection to help reduce burnout, but where is the balance between seeking connection and overextending? That is the debate many of us experience during this season.

Mental Prepping for Decreased Connection

We must focus on nonjudgmental stance and reducing the likelihood of taking things personally. When we aren’t getting reassurance from others or seeing what everyone else is doing, we can feel left out. This is where self-validation comes into play. We must remember that our communities, like us, are juggling a lot. We might have to do extra work (sucks but we do) to let others know that we want to connect. The goal is to reduce assumptions or story telling that could increase in self isolating.

Tangible Prepping for Decreased Connection

Expectation Management + Tiny Reachouts = Efforts // We must focus on the effort steps in these seasons. Try to schedule a hangout so you have something on the books and you can look forward to it. No matter how long it has been, reply to the forgotten texts. Send memes.

Make notes in your planner and set reminders in your phone to spend 5-10 minutes sending connection messages. Have a list in your phone of people you want to keep in touch with so you don’t forget or feel like you forgot someone. Have set days or times where you try to connect. Just because you systematize your social life doesn’t make it contrived. Systems help for consistency.

Wrap Up

If you are wondering why the Fall is hard on our lives, hopefully you feel a bit more validated in your overwhelm. We are in the midst of a major shift, and even though it happens each year we sort of forget about it! Be sure to practice self compassion, pace, and acceptance as you navigate these Fall burnout traps. They are common for a reason, and it doesn’t mean we will shouldn’t fall into them. Don’t panic, take a deep breath and focus on the next best step.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner helps you navigate the traps of each season by helping you plan ahead and stay present. Included are flexible layouts for both short term and long term planning. In addition, the index section comes with important holidays, seasonal self care suggestions, and boring self care prompts to help you stay on top of things. Take a look in our shop!