The mind of an overthinker and overdoer can get REAL dark…especially if we are hearing how they speak to themselves. Self-Criticism, comparisons, resentment, envy, and frustration are very common experiences for those who lean towards perfectionism and people pleasing. Where many wouldn’t believe it, it is because they do a great job at not exposing that part to others.

Inspirational self care tends to be underestimated because it can teeter on toxic positivity. However, we need exposure to things like affirmations to retrain our critical brains and pull ourselves out of threat. I’m going to help you learn the differences between inspirational self care and toxic positivity, along with specific examples of how you can bring more inspirational self care into your burnout management routines. As always, this type of self care might feel a little awkward at first, but like most things will get more comfortable with time. Let’s get into it.

What is Inspirational Self Care?

Inspirational Self Care is the self care we engage in to work towards our aspirational goals (ex: job promotion, dream vacation, etc). Inspirational self care should be considered more of an ongoing practice (similar to mindfulness) as opposed to a self care act (like boring self care). At its core, inspirational self care is related to things like a higher power, inner guidance, our soul, belief systems, our inner selves or the pursuit of “wholeness.”

Inspirational Self Care could also be called Spiritual Self Care if that term works better for you. Inspirational Self Care is meant to be an agent for engagement in our surroundings. Inspirational Self Care is designed to have us slow down, look within, and gain perspective. It can be a revolutionary act, and help us break negative cycles we have carried for years.

Note of Context: Actions or practices we would categorize as spiritual self care or inspirational self care can be connected to practices originally developed by Indigenous and BIPOC communities. We want to hold a perspective of cultural appreciation over cultural appropriation. When researching and purchasing products, please be mindful of their origins (ex: sage) and make sure you are purchasing items from the proper channels.

Inspirational Self Care vs Toxic Positivity

Inspirational Self Care embraces both the lightness and darkness within ourselves. Inspirational self care is about working through and alongside feelings, toxic positivity is about rejecting, numbing or suppressing negative emotions.

Keeping note of this distinction is helpful for navigating the discomforts that might come up when engaging in any sort of self care. To help make this make sense, think about the belief “I don’t deserve self care.”

A toxic positivity framework would suggest that you engage in the self care no matter what, practice gratitude, smile, and ignore any of the dark feelings of discomfort that comes up. What this can lead to is essentially grinning and bearing through your entire self care and leaving feeling more drained than before. Toxic positivity can increase feelings of shame for not being able to “just be happy” when caring for ourselves.

An inspirational self care framework would encourage you to have affirmations that coach you through the discomforts that come up when practicing self care, recognize where this is changing aspects of your thinking, and acknowledge that while you may not be “happy” during this practice of self care, you are learning how to engage in self care as a whole. Inspirational self care acknowledges that things like rest are counter to many of the messages we receive daily, which is why acts like self care might be difficult to do.

Inspirational self care is like chipping away at those pesky negative thinking patterns instead of exhausting ourselves by running away from negative beliefs or fighting them with all of our energy.

How to Practice Inspirational Self Care

Since inspirational self care has an element of open-endedness and exploration, having specific mediums can help you not get overwhelmed when engaging in inspirational self care. Here are some common mediums and practices people use when engaging in inspirational self care.

Silence

Sounds fun right? In a world where we take in so much content (including this blog you are reading), our nervous systems need doses of silence and stillness. If you are one that tends to have an anxious or busy brain, start with small doses and recognize that you will likely have to do a lot of redirection. This will be an active exercise of self compassion and speaking kindly to yourself.

Vision Boards

Vision boards are a creative way to make the things we dream about tangible and tactile. You can do the traditional magazine cut outs or use Canva to make a digital one. Vision boards are not just about what you aspire for in your life, they can also be connected to values and serve as a reminder of what you want to focus on. You can even divvy them up into specific categories like health, personal goals, work, relationships and more. As you do this, it is less about “manifestation” and more about allowing yourself to explore what is possible in your life.

Affirmations

Affirmations are statements that we want to believe more, need to hear, or challenge our unhelpful perception. Affirmation cards are a great resource to have affirmations already composed for you. The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner has weekly permission slips to promote giving ourselves a break or to loosen the grip on our rules or expectations. Affirmations can be spoken, written or read. Having an affirmation to read in your morning or evening routine is way to become consistent with affirmations.

Nature

When in doubt, get your feet in some grass. Nature is known to reduce blood pressure and stress levels. Being in nature helps us get out of our daily grind and can remind us of things bigger than ourselves. Acknowledging the power of nature can also be a way of recognizing how we are all connected in humanity along with appreciating the specific environment of where you are. Go on a walk, take a small road trip, sit outside, or open the windows to let some fresh air in.

Gratitude

Note: Gratitude is a practice that can easily fall into toxic positivity. If you want to incorporate gratitude into your inspirational self care, it helps to remember that gratitude is more about balance rather than total refocus. Gratitude practices can be helpful reminders that not great times aren’t forever, and that there is likely at least one area of your life that is coming together. Gratitude or finding “glimmers” in your day can also be a helpful reminder that the small things make the biggest impact in our life.

Inner Child Work

Inner child work is giving ourselves what we wanted or needed as a little one, or revisiting things that brought us joy when we were young. This can look like listening to your childhood music, writing your younger self a letter, listing out the dreams your younger self had, working with others who might need what you needed as a child, giving yourself in present day what you needed as a child, and so much more. Inner child work is effective because it gives a chance to repair moments that may have shaped our present day. It also brings us back to our own humanity.

Visualization

Visualization is like an internal vision board. It is bringing up thoughts and mental images for us to experience. When using visualization as a incorporated self care practice, the idea would be for us to get used to something working out in our favor, or being able to be present in the moment. Coping ahead is the type of visualization where you work through worst case scenarios, which is helpful if needed a reminder about your personal capabilities. Visualizations of past comfortable or connected moments can be a grounding tool or a way to activate your social safety system.

Meditation/Prayer

This approach is similar to affirmations, but with meditation and prayer we are either focusing on a specific sequences of thoughts or interacting with a higher power. There are many approaches to this, and can be done in both formal and informal practices.

Art and Tactile Creativity

Engaging in practices like drawing, painting, or creating (pottery) can be both a sensory experience and an experience of novelty. If we tend to want control, there can be a level of surrender embodied in creative practices or making. You do not have to be an “artist” to be a creator. Cooking, coloring, rearranging furniture, or doodling can all fall into the category of creativity.

Body Based Creative Outlets (Singing, Movement)

Where tactile creativity is about creating or interacting with items/mediums like paint, body based creativity is about creation through your own body. Dance or singing can be expressive acts that reconnect us to our body and get us out of our minds. This can be as simple as singing in the car or as formal as attending a dance class.

Staying on the Track of Inspiration

Keep in mind, inspirational self care is not goal oriented but more about the experience. If we attend a dance class, we want to focus more on our physical experience rather than how much of the dance we perfected. If we are meditating, it is less about how long you were able to keep your attention, but more about working through the struggle of staying focused.

To stay inspired we want to:

• Drop the anticipation of goals
• Reduce concerns about appearance or perfection
• Be mindful of comparisons
• Adopt a curious or experimentation mindset

If you are feeling stuck in your inspirational self care, take a step back and realign your intentions. It might be worth trying a new medium or exploring an inspirational self care act that is more low lift.

Bringing It All Together

Like all self care practices, we want inspirational self care to be an action that pours back into us. At first, it will take more effort and adjustment but with time, inspirational self care will become more reciprocal. Consider brainstorming inspirational self care ideas so you have a few to choose from. Schedule inspirational self care ahead of time to reduce overwhelm. Whatever you do, don’t avoid engaging in inspirational self care.

The Nine to Kind Possibility Planner and Daily Planning Notepad are tools to help you incorporate more self care into your daily routines. Browse the shop to see what will be your next self care companion.