Here’s the thing…resolutions are a perfectionists frenemy. Most of us like the idea of developing new habits and making progress towards our goals. However, when life does its thing and we get off track, that’s a breeding ground for self criticism and moving into “screw it mode.”

We don’t need another set of rules to weigh us down or serve as evidence that we are not enough. On the other side, most overthinkers and overdoers thrive when there are parameters and flexible structure.

Enter in–VALUES! Using the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) framework, values are the north star for developing better habits. Using a values framework helps us understand that there are many ways to get to where we want to be, and all efforts should be acknowledged. Focusing on values instead of strict resolutions allows not only margin for “error” but room for possibilities.

How Do I Use Values?

Here’s a quick formula for using values with the ACT therapy framework.

Value (ex: connection) + Committed Action Behavior (ex: calling friends 1x a week)= A WIN!

The idea is to choose a few values and then brainstorm all the action steps you can do. Once you have a bank of ideas, you can put them into your Nine to Kind Possibility Planner for each month or week as a reminder of what you’re working towards.

Other areas where you can use values in the Nine to Kind Possibility Planner:

• Weekly Habits: Instead of specific habits, put down values and track action steps made in those themes!
• Not Boring Self Care Worksheet: Use values to brainstorm your Not Boring Self Care!
• Boring Self Care Worksheet: Use values as an incentive and motivator for tackling that boring self care!
• Nine to Kind Commitment Boxes: When you write out your weekly Nine to Kind Commitments, list the value it is associated with!
  
  

List of Values (Developed by Russ Harris, ACT Made Simple 2013)

• ACCEPTANCE/SELF ACCEPTANCE: TO BE ACCEPTING OF MYSELF, OTHERS, LIFE,ETC. 
• ADVENTURE: TO BE ADVENTUROUS, TO ACTIVELY EXPLORE NOVEL OR STIMULATING EXPERIENCES 
• ASSERTIVENESS: TO RESPECTFULLY STAND UP FOR MY RIGHTS AND REQUEST WHAT I WANT 
• AUTHENTICITY: TO BE AUTHENTIC, GENUINE, AND REAL; TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF 
• CARING/SELF-CARE: TO BE CARING TOWARD MYSELF, OTHERS, THE ENVIRONMENT, ETC. 
• COMPASSION/SELF-COMPASSION: TO ACT KINDLY TOWARD MYSELF AND OTHERS IN PAIN 
• CONNECTION: TO ENGAGE FULLY IN WHATEVER I’M DOING AND BE FULLY PRESENT WITH OTHERS 
• CONTRIBUTION AND GENEROSITY: TO CONTRIBUTE, GIVE, HELP, ASSIST, OR SHARE 
• COOPERATION: TO BE COOPERATIVE AND COLLABORATIVE WITH OTHERS 
• COURAGE: TO BE COURAGEOUS OR BRAVE; TO PERSIST IN THE FACE OF FEAR, THREAT, OR DIFFICULTY 
• CREATIVITY: TO BE CREATIVE OR INNOVATIVE 
• CURIOSITY: TO BE CURIOUS, OPEN-MINDED, AND INTERESTED; TO EXPLORE AND DISCOVER 
• ENCOURAGEMENT: TO ENCOURAGE AND REWARD BEHAVIOR THAT I VALUE IN MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• EXCITEMENT: TO SEEK, CREATE, AND ENGAGE IN ACTIVITIES THAT ARE EXCITING OR STIMULATING 
• FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE: TO BE FAIR AND JUST TO MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• FITNESS: TO MAINTAIN OR IMPROVE OR LOOK AFTER MY PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH 
• FLEXIBILITY: TO ADJUST AND ADAPT READILY TO CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES 
• FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE: TO CHOOSE HOW I LIVE AND HELP OTHERS DO LIKEWISE 
• FRIENDLINESS: TO BE FRIENDLY, COMPANIONABLE, OR AGREEABLE TOWARD OTHERS 
• FORGIVENESS/SELF-FORGIVENESS: TO BE FORGIVING TOWARD MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• FUN AND HUMOR: TO BE FUN LOVING; TO SEEK, CREATE, & ENGAGE IN FUN-FILLED ACTIVITIES 
• GRATITUDE: TO BE GRATEFUL FOR AND APPRECIATIVE OF MYSELF, OTHERS, & LIFE 
• HONESTY: TO BE HONEST, TRUTHFUL, SINCERE WITH MYSELF & OTHERS 
• INDUSTRY: TO BE INDUSTRIOUS, HARDWORKING, & DEDICATED 
• INTIMACY: TO OPEN UP, REVEAL, & SHARE MYSELF, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY 
• KINDNESS: TO BE KIND, CONSIDERATE, NURTURING, OR CARING TOWARD MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• LOVE: TO ACT LOVINGLY OR AFFECTIONATELY TOWARD MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• MINDFULNESS: TO BE OPEN TO, ENGAGED IN & CURIOUS ABOUT THE PRESENT MOMENT 
• ORDER: TO BE ORDERLY & ORGANIZED 
• PERSISTENCE AND COMMITMENT: TO CONTINUE RESOLUTELY, DESPITE PROBLEMS OR DIFFICULTIES
• RESPECT/SELF-RESPECT: TO TREAT MYSELF & OTHERS WITH CARE AND CONSIDERATION 
• RESPONSIBILITY: TO BE RESPONSIBLE & ACCOUNTABLE FOR MY ACTIONS 
• SAFETY AND PROTECTION: TO SECURE, PROTECT, OR ENSURE MY OWN SAFETY ORTHAT OF OTHERS 
• SENSUALITY AND PLEASURE: TO CREATE OR ENJOY PLEASURABLE & SENSUAL EXPERIENCES 
• SEXUALITY: TO EXPLORE OR EXPRESS MY SEXUALITY 
• SKILLFULNESS: TO CONTINUALLY PRACTICE AND IMPROVE MY SKILLS AND APPLY MYSELF FULLY 
• SUPPORTIVENESS: TO BE SUPPORTIVE, HELPFUL AND AVAILABLE TO MYSELF OR OTHERS 
• TRUST: TO BE TRUSTWORTHY; TO BE LOYAL, FAITHFUL, SINCERE, AND RELIABLE 

Don’t see your values on this list, guess what?! You can add your own to this list!

Make sure you are on the Nine to Kind Newsletter, each Sunday you will get self care tips, self compassion reminders, and additional therapy backed tools to accompany you as you navigate life!

Happy intention setting!